a8b.io

Today I feel defeated. For a long time I've tied giving up, or the actual act of defeat in my case, with the sense of defeat. But I definitely feel defeated. And that's okay. I am accepting that over the last two and a half years I've failed to create a sustainable future down the path I wanted. There have been a lot of good things to come out of it. A lot of self growth, a sense of autonomy and taking control of my life. Yes, I've learned things technically as well as about operating a business. But I've also made real friends. I perform regularly on stage in front of people, am intrinsically motivated to go to the gym, and have gotten to a place with work where I feel like I'm at play. These are amazing things that I feel really good about for myself. It does not discredit them to feel defeated. To accept that right now in me is the feeling of defeat is not the same as to accept defeat. It's accepting the reality of my emotional state, and once that is accepted I can move on from a place of truth rather than resistance or fear.